No, this is not how to write or a crazy insight on How To Be A Writer. Nope, it is my thoughts on how I feel about being a Writer (notice the capitol W? Yeah, intimidating right?).
I don't say, when asked what-do-I-do, that I am a writer. In my definition of Writer, I need to be paid for my words.
It occurs to me I have actually gotten paid and should invariably, by my silly logic, say I am a writer. So why don't I? Fear. It is so much easier to say I'm a teacher or I'm a mother or even I'm a gypsy; which is true considering I've had at least 9 jobs in 12 years, and I don't think I made it to the year mark on any of them.
Let's talk about fear. I haven't finished college and somehow that makes me 'less.' I didn't even go to college for writing so that makes me 'inexperienced.' I don't work in any field that has anything to do with published writing so that makes me 'unprofessional.' We won't even get into my poor grammar and spelling. Good Lord I know how to come down on myself. I'm also a glutton for self punishment and public humiliation, thanks Catholic upbringing.
What I'm slowly learning is that I'm a Writer because I keep on writing. When someone challenges me with set perimeters, I'm able to meet them. When I have an idea it won't quit until I type it out. I finish what I start (or get hounded and hunted by the unfinished stories) and I only want to get better and better at writing.
I prefer the title Storyteller and I get excited about reading my work out loud when I think of it as a performance. The actress in me may have retired but she will never truly quit.
Okay, so maybe I'm a Storyteller who writes her stories down. I like that. Or maybe I'm a Storywriter. What the hell is the difference? I'm not sure but I like the sound of it much better.
Go ahead an introduce me as Carmen, the Storywriter, because that's what I'm gonna call myself from now on, with a capitol S.
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